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Chapter 14: Advice for Christian Living

This chapter contains practical advice for Christian living. It is a collection of concepts broadly intended for those who are either new in their faith or getting serious about their faith for the first time. Peter gives great starting advice for those who want to pursue righteous living: “[R]id yourselves of all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander, and like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation” (1 Pet 2:1–3 NASB).

In other words, we are to renounce our evil behaviors and depend on what Scripture teaches. Prayer is part of that, as is including God in our decisions, the occasional fast, studying the Bible, and living righteously. These aspects of Christian living help us to grow in our faith as we learn what it means to put Christ at the center of everything we do. This is the key to spiritual recovery. Demonization can be eye-opening, and part of the recovery process is learning more about what it means to practice Christianity. Note, however, that nothing in this chapter must wait until a demoniac is completely free from demons. Learning the basic principles of Christian living is a good step toward growing into a fuller understanding of what it means to have a relationship with the Lord. That, in turn, makes it easier to depend on Him throughout the recovery process.

Praying to God​

Prayer is powerful. Whenever we pray, we are speaking with God Himself. He is the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, the mighty King of Kings and Creator of the entire universe. There is no one stronger, smarter, wiser, or more powerful than Him. With a mere glance, He can shake the tallest mountains, and with the briefest of thoughts, earthly rulers rise and fall. The Lord is truly limitless. There is nothing He cannot do, nor is there anyone He cannot save. And the plan He has had in place for far longer than any of us can fathom is “to bring all things together in Christ, things in the heavens and things on the earth” (Eph 1:10 NASB). Each of us who places our trust in Jesus Christ is an intimate part of that plan.

We are so important to God, and He loves us so very much, that God decided to adopt those who follow Jesus as His own children (Eph 1:5). We are of royal lineage, a spiritual family united together under a Heavenly Father who is the same God who commands legions of holy angels, creates every human soul, and plans the intricate details of our lives. The greatest king imaginable is our Father (cf. Jer 3:19–22). But He is also a Father who loves His children with compassion that runs infinitely deep. We can tell Him anything and go to Him at any time with any concern, and our mighty Father hears us. He makes time for us. Therefore, “[d]o not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and pleading with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil 4:6–7 NASB).

We have the King’s attention. He hears whatever we have to say and whatever we want to ask just as soon as we begin to pray about it (Ps 139:4). An angelic messenger once said to Daniel, “Do not be afraid, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart on understanding this and on humbling yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to your words” (Dan 10:12 NASB). When we pray, God immediately hears us, and when we pray in humility and reliance upon our Heavenly Father, He responds.

King David models one way to approach the Lord in prayer when he writes, “In the morning, Lord, You will hear my voice; / In the morning I will present my prayer to You and be on the watch” (Ps 5:3 NASB). He set aside time for prayer in the morning and told God everything that was on his heart. Only after this time in prayer did David go about his day and watch for what God might do in response to their conversation. He knew something very important that John echoes many centuries later: “This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him” (1 John 5:14–15 NASB). God hears us whenever we pray to Him, but He answers our requests whenever it pleases Him to do so. The crucial concept is asking “according to His will.” What does that mean?

To pray according to God’s will is to pray in accord with what He would want, not what we would desire or insist that He do for us (John 14:13, 14). John already specified that answered prayer also depends on obedience to God’s commandments and avoidance of sin ([1 John 3:21]; Ps. 66:18; John 15:7; 1 Pet. 3:7). Since genuine believers know God’s Word (i.e., His will) and practice those things that are pleasing to Him, they never insist on their own will, but supremely seek God’s desires (Matt. 27:39–42).1

Whenever we pray according to what God wants—and we generally know what He wants based on Scripture—He has promised to answer those prayers. Therefore, we can approach the Lord in prayer and then wait expectantly for His response. While we may not receive His answer right away (Jer 42:7; Dan 10:12–14), we can take comfort knowing that God immediately hears us (Dan 10:12) and will eventually answer when the time is right for Him to do so.

To give some examples, praying according to His will would include asking for the wisdom to understand Scripture or asking to be set free from spiritual bondage. It is not important to get the exact words right because the Lord “knows what you need before you ask Him” (Matt 6:8 NASB). Still, though God knows what we need, the reason why Christians take our needs before Him in prayer is twofold: we are acknowledging our needs before God, and we are acknowledging that God is in control. The important part is to faithfully pray with a focus on what God wants for us.

Answers to prayer can be immediately obvious (Ps 138:3; John 12:27–29). But they can also be far more subtle (1 Kgs 19:12). Sometimes things are one way, and then after prayer, they become another way. There are no fireworks and no flashing signs. Instead, the problem that is quietly transforms into the problem that was after a moment spent in silent conversation with God. While the voice of the Lord can boom like thunder (Ps 29:3–4), He can just as easily whisper into the silence (Ps 46:10; Isa 30:15). Sometimes we may have no idea that God has answered our prayers until we see that He has (1 Sam 1:9–20). The way God answers our prayers may even surprise us. So pray to God and trust that He hears it. “A prayer of a righteous person, when it is brought about, can accomplish much” (Jas 5:16 NASB).

Delayed Answers to Prayer Require Persistence​

Answers to prayer can be instantaneous. We might pray for an urgent need then watch God address that need right before our eyes. However, that will not always be the case. God may be working in the background to bring pieces together that will answer our prayers while we remain wholly unaware of the larger picture. The people of Israel, for example, prayed for the coming Messiah many centuries before Jesus was born (Deut 18:15–19). At other times, it may also be that unseen warfare in the spiritual realm delays an answer from God. This happened to Daniel—spiritual warfare delayed the angelic messenger bearing an answer to Daniel’s prayers by three weeks (Dan 10:12–13).

There may also be times when our own sin is to blame if prayers seem to go unanswered. When we live our lives out of step with God’s desires for us, how can we expect to pray according to God’s will? We have already demonstrated a lack of concern for what He says. Why would God reward that behavior? First, we must turn from our sins and seek His forgiveness. Only at that point are we more in tune with what God wants and can pray accordingly.

True obedience to God means doing what he says, when he says it, how he says it should be done and as long as he says to do it—regardless of whether or not you understand the reasons for it—until what he says is accomplished… It could be that you have been living in the same uncomfortable situation for years because at some point, you chose to do things your way instead of God’s way. Following his will instead of your own can make a tremendous difference in your life, which is why you must make obedience to him your top priority.2

Until we receive a response from God or He makes us aware of some sin we need to address, we should continue to pray because perseverance in prayer is exactly what Jesus teaches (Luke 18:1–8). He tells a parable of a persistent woman who, repeatedly, asks a wicked judge for justice in a civil matter. She is so tenacious that the judge eventually caves in to her request and grants her the justice she wants so that she will stop bothering him. Jesus summarizes the parable when He says, “[N]ow, will God not bring about justice for His elect who cry out to Him day and night, and will He delay long for them? I tell you that He will bring about justice for them quickly” (Luke 18:7–8 NASB).

Persistence caused an unrighteous judge to respond to a just plea for help. Our supremely righteous God is far more willing than this judge to respond to similar petitions. Jesus tells this story “to show that at all times [we] ought to pray and not become discouraged” (Luke 18:1 NASB). There may be much more going on in the background than we could possibly know, so pray to the Lord until He answers.

Prayer and Wise Actions Go Together​

Prayer may seem like a passive activity, but it is far from it. When we pray for help, we are actively petitioning the King of All Creation, and there is no better help than His. Nevertheless, prayer does not suggest inaction. King Solomon writes, “The horse is prepared for the day of battle, / But the victory belongs to the Lord” (Prov 21:31 NASB). In other words, we should pray and depend on the Lord to lead us in a direction that pleases Him, yet we should also work toward a solution when we already have an idea of what we need to do. We do not require divine permission to get a horse ready for battle when we already know we must fight a war.

King Hezekiah exemplifies this concept. “He trusted in the Lord, the God of Israel; and after him there was no one like him among all the kings of Judah, nor among those who came before him. For he clung to the Lord; he did not desist from following Him, but kept His commandments” (2 Kgs 18:5–6 NASB). One day, a huge Assyrian army marched out to Jerusalem intending to conquer it (2 Kgs 18:17). This would have caused any king of that day to tremble in terror, but Hezekiah did not let the threat of this army overwhelm him. Instead, he resisted their advance with hard work and prayer.

Hezekiah first “decided with his officers and his warriors to cut off the supply of water from the springs which were outside the city” (2 Chr 32:3 NASB). He then “set to work and rebuilt all of the wall that had been broken down and erected towers on it, and built another outside wall and strengthened the [terraced structure] in the city of David, and made weapons and shields in great numbers” (2 Chr 32:5 NASB).

Next, Hezekiah “appointed military officers over the people and gathered them to him in the public square at the city gate, and spoke encouragingly to them” (2 Chr 32:6 NASB). This was a king who was preparing for war. He knew how to fight and how to structure Israel’s defense, and he did everything he understood to be necessary to wage a protracted battle against an opposing army. These were all practical steps for him to take as Israel’s king, but he did not stop there.

King Hezekiah soon went to the temple and prayed for God to protect them (2 Kgs 19:14–19). If the Assyrian army had its way, the people of Jerusalem and their king would be “doomed to eat their own dung and drink their own urine” (2 Kgs 18:27 NASB) from starvation caused by a lengthy siege. The stakes were very high. God immediately responded to Hezekiah’s prayer through the prophet Isaiah (2 Kgs 19:20–34), assuring the king that the Lord would protect them.

“Then it happened that night that the angel of the Lord went out and struck [dead] 185,000 in the camp of the Assyrians… So Sennacherib the king of Assyria departed and returned home” (2 Kgs 19:35–36 NASB). The Lord took care of it. It was not wrong for Hezekiah to prepare for battle—he took the steps he knew to take—but the Lord answered his prayer in such a powerful way that Hezekiah’s preparations were entirely unnecessary in the end.

Of course, Hezekiah did not know that ahead of time, and acting responsibly did not diminish his righteousness. “When we pray for God’s protection, he often inspires us to take sensible precautions against the danger we see. We ask the Lord to do what only he can do, and we do what he gives us the strength and wisdom to do” because a “solid prayer life and a close relationship with God do not minimize the need for clear and profound thinking. Rather, our communion with the Lord empowers and sharpens our thoughts and increases our wisdom.”3

Hezekiah sought the Lord for help and took wise actions. There will be times when we should wait for the Lord to answer before we act, but that is not always the case (Exod 14:15). Prayer does not necessarily imply that we must sit back and wait for answers to appear. “Commit your works to the Lord, / And your plans will be established” (Prov 16:3 NASB).

Coordinating Our Actions with God’s Will​

The Christian life is not passive. There are times when we must all take action, whether by making difficult choices or taking steps toward a desired outcome. Ideally, we make these choices and take these steps with an inward desire that whatever we choose to do will somehow position us to work with God to help further His interests. This desire to please God is a very good desire, yet how we decide which actions to take in our lives represents the outcome of a decision-making process unique to every individual. While we all hope to make “right” choices and take “right” actions, the exact nature of our decision-making determines a large part of our success or failure in working toward the same goals that God has in mind.

For the Christian, there are two spiritually unhealthy extremes that will hinder our effectiveness in harmonizing our actions with God’s desires. The first is to live and act as if God has no interest in the details of our lives. We sometimes make plans without consulting the Lord and take actions that appeal to our own individual interests without ever praying or reflecting on the wisdom of Scripture. In effect, we do our best to become our own gods, yet without any of the foreknowledge or infinite wisdom of our actual God. The fallacy of this approach is that the future is not in our hands but in God’s hands, and James cautions us against such behavior:

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.” Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. For you are just a vapor that appears for a little while, and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.” But as it is, you boast in your arrogance; all such boasting is evil. (Jas 4:13–16 NASB)

Alternately, at the other extreme, we can actively include God in our every choice and action to the point where we have surrendered all decision-making to Him. We do not make a choice unless we “feel” God has answered our prayer. We do not take any action unless we are confident that God has directed us to take some specific step. This approach to coordinating our actions with God is very unhealthy! It negates the self-determination God has bestowed upon humanity and consequently paralyzes the believer with inaction. This is spiritual bondage with pious trappings, one where the believer willingly smothers his or her own God-given agency in the hope that God will live life not with us but in place of us. Again, James cautions against this approach:

What use is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone says he has faith, but he has no works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,” yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? In the same way, faith also, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself… For just as the body without the spirit is dead, so also faith without works is dead. (Jas 2:14–17, 26 NASB)

True faith necessarily has accompanying actions that verify it, but there can be no consistent action when we are paralyzed with inaction. King David recognized this truth when he fled from his rebellious son, saying that God would either bring David back to the city again or would otherwise do what seemed best to God in this situation (2 Sam 15:25–26). There was no indecision, only recognition of God’s sovereignty over the final outcome. Likewise, David’s military commander Joab once said this while making plans to fight a major battle: “Be strong, and let’s show ourselves courageous for the benefit of our people and the cities of our God; and may the Lord do what is good in His sight” (1 Chr 19:13 NASB). He knew what needed to be done and took the action he thought was best in that moment, leaving the final outcome in God’s hands.

Even when we do not know what we need to do, God does not fault us for making the decision we think is best as long as we involve Him in our plans. In the parable of the talents (Matt 25:14–30; Luke 19:11–27), Jesus tells a story about a man and his servants. The man goes on a long trip, entrusting his servants with his money while he is gone. When the man finally returns, two of his servants had invested his money while another did nothing at all. This is a metaphor describing the kingdom of God. There are many lessons to learn from this parable, but a very simple observation is that the master (Jesus) was not physically present to direct his servants (us) on exactly what to do with the money (our God-given time, abilities, and resources).

The servants who tried to please their master invested the money entrusted to them in the best way they knew how, and in the end, the master was delighted with that they had done for him. The servant who did nothing (out of indifference toward the master or sheer laziness) was the one who was in error, not the servants who took decisive action with the master’s wishes in mind. Similarly, Jesus is not physically present with us to tell us exactly what to do for Him at every decision point in our lives. He will one day return from His long trip, but until then, He has entrusted us to act in His stead using the time, abilities, and resources He has given each of us. This parable illustrates the difference between an active faith and a passive faith that amounts to no faith at all.

Given these two extremes, the correct way to understand how we are to harmonize our actions with God’s will is somewhere in the middle. That is, we should pray about everything and then wait when we know to wait, act when we know to act, and feel empowered to be proactive when things are unclear as long as we are acting in our Heavenly Father’s interests. He is El Roi, “the God who sees me” (cf. Gen 16:13). We are not invisible to Him. We are not alone. In fact, the Lord will never abandon us—that would tarnish His holy name (1 Sam 12:22). Any arrogance, impatience, fear, or difficulties we experience do not prove otherwise. This is just all the more reason why Christians must “walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Cor 5:7 NASB).

While the Lord is our shield, the power that saves us, and our place of safety (Ps 18:2), practically speaking, He interacts with us in various ways. At times, He directly intervenes in our problems (Ps 18:16–19, 47–48). At other times, He simply strengthens us so that we can take whatever action the situation requires (Ps 18:32–34). Sometimes He issues commands, and sometimes He does not. So although God will always stand with His people as they make choices and take steps toward an outcome, He may do so as deliverer, coach, adviser, or encourager as He sees fit. Nevertheless, as a mighty king with deep love for us and complete sovereignty over the final outcome, we should include Him in all our plans while also feeling empowered to make the choices we think are best given what we know of God’s desires. And we do all this while leaving room for Him to direct us otherwise should He choose to do so.

Discerning Guidance from the Holy Spirit​

God knows everything. He knows what is right and wrong, holy and unholy. He knows what He is thinking just as He knows what we are thinking. He knows the past, present, and future. However, we do not know these things on our own, nor could we ever hope to correctly guess what our infinite God is thinking without His help. “For who among people knows the thoughts of a person except the spirit of the person that is in him? So also the thoughts of God no one knows, except the Spirit of God” (1 Cor 2:11 NASB). Yet we have received “the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God” (1 Cor 2:12 NASB). The “Spirit of God” is the Holy Spirit. He is both God and, at the same time, one person of the Holy Trinity. This is a difficult concept but an important one. One God reigns as our King, and the Holy Spirit is an aspect of our God along with the Father and the Son. Because the Holy Spirit dwells in Christians while existing in God at the same time, we are connected to our heavenly Father through the Holy Spirit (John 17:21).

Christian discernment includes paying attention to what God shows us through the Holy Spirit, who repeats what He hears from God (John 16:12–15). His guidance is trustworthy because He is God just as much as the Father and the Son are also God. When we listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, we can safely navigate questions and situations that are unclear to us but perfectly clear to the Lord. The Holy Spirit guides us in a variety of ways. One example is that He can speak to us just as He did for the apostles (Acts 11:12; 13:2; 1 Tim 4:1). This is very unlikely to be a normal occurrence for anyone since it was not even so for the apostles or prophets in Scripture. Nevertheless, the Holy Spirit spoke with intelligible words in a language these men could understand. Since God is an incredibly holy God, direct exchanges like this must have been a little overwhelming at times (Exod 34:29–30; Deut 18:16; Isa 6:1–5; Rev 1:17–18), yet whenever the Holy Spirit chooses to speak, it is surely because He has something very important to communicate.

Another way the Holy Spirit guides us is through preventing certain actions we might want to take. Luke writes that Paul and Silas did not preach the gospel in a certain region “after being forbidden by the Holy Spirit to speak the word” (Acts 16:6 NASB). This could have been more verbal communication from the Holy Spirit, but it did not have to be. He might have simply indicated through some nonverbal means—which were nonetheless unmistakable—that these evangelists were not to travel to certain places. Likewise for us, the Holy Spirit might guide us in the tasks that God sets before us, encouraging a certain direction by way of clearly preventing our pursuit of its alternatives.

Emotional indicators are also a means the Holy Spirit uses to give us specific and personal guidance for the issues we face. This is not to say that all sudden emotions are from the Holy Spirit. They are certainly not—emotions can be deceiving. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, [and] self-control” (Gal 5:22–23 NASB), which suggests that the Holy Spirit may use these attributes or others to get our attention when He needs to do so. It also stands to reason that He might use different emotional indicators to attract us to certain actions or repel us from others—perhaps this is what He did when “Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led around by the Spirit in the wilderness” (Luke 4:1 NASB). In any event, the Holy Spirit can easily communicate without using words.

The Spirit often speaks to us in the stillness of our hearts with a word of conviction or assurance. When the Holy Spirit is directing us away from something harmful, we very often have a heaviness, feeling of trouble, foreboding or uneasiness in our spirits. When the Holy Spirit is directing us toward helpful things, we tend to feel a deep inner peace, an eagerness to see what God will do and a feeling of joy.4

We must listen to Him whenever the Holy Spirit provides a direction. He does it for our benefit. Choosing to rebel against God by the way we live and the sinful choices we make only brings sorrow to the Holy Spirit (Eph 4:30; Isa 63:10). This is not good Christian conduct; it quenches the Holy Spirit’s involvement in our lives (1 Thess 5:19). The more we deliberately choose to disobey His guidance, the more calloused our hearts become until eventually we have no idea what the Holy Spirit might be saying. Obedience to whatever the Holy Spirit prompts us to do is the same as obedience to God. Moreover, because God’s Spirit only repeats what He hears—and God does not contradict Himself—nothing the Holy Spirit inspires will ever contradict Scripture. If it seems like the Holy Spirit is encouraging or forbidding some particular idea when Scripture teaches the opposite, that is not the Holy Spirit prompting those thoughts. We have not somehow grown past Scripture or learned new and novel spiritual truths about God since it was written. To think otherwise is pure folly. This is one more reason why knowing what Scripture actually teaches is of the utmost importance for every Christian believer.

Fasting​

Fasting is not a requirement for Christian living. However, Jesus assumes that at some point in our spiritual lives we will want to fast. He says, “Now whenever you fast” (Matt 6:16 NASB), and later, in reference to the time between His ascension into heaven and eventual return to judge the earth, He says, “But the days will come when the groom is taken away from them, and then they [i.e., we] will fast” (Matt 9:15 NASB). Scripture frequently connects fasting with prayer “in times of intensive intercession, repentance, worship, and seeking of guidance,”5 yet it can also be appropriate in other circumstances. “When we reach points of despondency, despair, confusion or desperation, going before the Lord in prayer and fasting can bring peace, clarity and direction to our situation.”6 Additionally, occasional fasting benefits our relationship with God in a variety of ways:7

  1. It makes us aware of how dependent we are on God.
  2. It frees us to focus more of our attention on prayer.
  3. It reminds us that we must submit every aspect of our lives to God.
  4. It trains us to become more resistant to temptation.
  5. It helps us focus on God instead of the concerns of this world.
  6. It expresses the urgency of our prayers.

Biblically speaking, there are different kinds of fasts:

  1. Full fasts abstain from all food and drink (Esth 4:15–16; Acts 9:9; cf. Deut 9:9; 1 Kgs 19:8).
  2. Regular fasts abstain from all food and drink except water (2 Chr 20:3; Ezra 8:21–23; Luke 4:1–2).
  3. Partial fasts abstain from certain foods or comforts (Dan 10:2–3).
  4. Sexual fasts abstain from sexual activity for a short time (Exod 19:15; 1 Cor 7:5).

All of these fasts are limited in duration. The Bible never teaches asceticism as a way of life, nor is this a requirement for prayer. We do not fast because God requires it from us; we fast because it can help us grow closer to Him. “Fasting doesn’t just mean ‘going hungry’ for a few days. It means abstaining for the purpose of focusing your attention on God and what he has to say to you.”8 Those who deem it appropriate to fast from time to time can do so in whatever way seems right, accommodating any existing health needs. We can fast for a meal, a day, or a longer period of time depending on what type of fast we wish to undertake. The Lord answers our prayers whether or not we fast, but sometimes fasting helps us focus better on what He wants to say.

Conquering Emotional Trauma​

Nobody makes it through life without getting hurt at some point. While the fact is that we live in a fallen world, knowing this does not make it easier to be on the receiving end of injustice or cruelty. Physical and emotional abuse happens every day for a variety of reasons. The memory of this abuse tends to linger and can still hurt whenever we later recall the painful events. Reactions to abuse like unforgiveness, anger, or bitterness can create their own hurtful memories. Some people may then grow to hate themselves while others might develop crippling shame, guilt, fear, worry, or anxiety. However, abuse is not the only cause of unpleasant memories. Everyday life in a sinful world can also produce these outcomes. Who has not felt the bitterness of rejection? Who has not become angry when insulted or suffered shame from a deeply regretted choice? We all experience pain at some point, and unless we intentionally address these moments in our lives, we will continue to carry our pain around with us.

Jesus understands our weaknesses because He faced the same trials we do. He is someone who knows what it is like to be abused, insulted, and even murdered, which is why we can “approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace for help at the time of our need” (Heb 4:16 NASB). We approach God for help through prayer, and we should want to do this because God does not require that we carry our emotional baggage with us through life. It does not have to weigh us down with a burden so heavy that getting out of bed in the morning is a struggle. Jesus invites us to roll our burdens over to Him. “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is comfortable, and My burden is light” (Matt 11:28–30 NASB).

This is an open invitation to ask Jesus for help, including help with all the unpleasant memories chaining us to our painful experiences. He will bear those burdens for us. This is not an invitation that frees us from our responsibilities, nor does it mean there will be no work for us to do, but this is a real and very personal offer from our Lord to replace our pain with peace. No matter what we have done or what someone has done to us, Jesus is enough. “Therefore there is now no condemnation at all for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death” (Rom 8:1–2 NASB). The first step toward emotional healing is to recognize just how entrenched painful experiences can become in our lives. They have more of an impact than we might think.

Memory begins as the central nervous system develops within an unborn infant. This is known as prenatal memory, and there is evidence a healthy human fetus can remember certain stimuli after 30 weeks of gestation.9 While it is unclear how long memories formed in the womb can last before the infant forgets them, it is very clear that human memory starts before we are ever born. Research into how the brain functions also links strong memories with strong emotions, particularly when they are unpleasant.10 Memories dealing with emotional content like rage, fear, lust, shame, or grief do not just disappear—they are encoded into the brain—and when we rehearse these memories over and over, they only grow stronger. They influence our reactions and color our outlook on life.

When certain stimuli in our everyday lives trigger one of these unpleasant memories from the past, the emotional content of that experience floods into our brains, potentially creating outsized responses or contributing to bad habits that sabotage our attempts to live an emotionally healthy life. Our specific learned responses can even cause us to react in ways that are entirely contrary to good Christian behavior. Furthermore, these emotional landmines are scattered across our mental histories from the time we first started remembering up until the present day. Some people will have more unpleasant memories than others, and some of these unpleasant memories will be stronger than other such memories, but we all have experiences buried in our brains that will weigh us down if we allow them. This is why it is such a good idea to approach Jesus in prayer for His help with this problem.

The Lord comforts us in our troubles so that we can extend comfort to others (2 Cor 1:3–4). Because He invites us to approach Him with all manner of prayers (Eph 6:18), that means we can ask Him to heal the emotional trauma associated with our painful experiences. Whenever we remember something that hurts, ask for forgiveness if the event requires it, or extend forgiveness if needed. People who tend to shoulder blame for every misspoken word and less-than-perfect action may also need to forgive themselves. Then, pray for God to heal the baggage associated with that emotional wound. He will. This is all part of Jesus’s offer to give us rest. Do this for every painful memory that rises to the top of conscious thought.

Those who want to be thorough and give everything like that over to Jesus may even want to pray that God would bring to mind other painful experiences, which can then become subject to the same process. Go month by month or year by year if desired. Given what we know and are yet to understand about the human brain, there may also be painful memories from infancy or even earlier. We can pray about those too—even if we cannot actively remember them—asking God to clear out any emotional trauma from old wounds. The specific process is not important; knowing we can ask the Lord to heal our emotional pain is what matters. Give every negative emotion that remains to Him, and accept the peace He offers in return. “If God is for us, who is against us?” (Rom 8:31 NASB).

Studying the Bible​

The only way to know what the Bible says is to spend time with it. “We combat heresy by becoming thoroughly acquainted with God’s Word through personal study and sound Bible teaching.”11 Simply putting in the time to read the Bible is a great start. For those who genuinely want to understand every nuance of what it teaches, an easy solution is to find a good study Bible with many footnotes. Or, alternatively, look for a standalone commentary that provides a perspective on every verse in Scripture. For those who want to go even deeper than that, one approach is to learn the same techniques theologians regularly employ when studying the Bible. The historical-grammatical method attempts to discover the original meaning behind the text; the principlizing bridge creates an interpretive framework for bridging the time, culture, language, situation, and covenant gaps between ancient writers and modern readers. But regardless of how deep we wish to take our study of Scripture, there are many different options for every kind of student.

In fact, never before have there been so many learning resources so easily available for those who want to study the Bible. We have the benefit of thousands of years of Christian scholarship freely available to us online.12 Consequently, because the Bible is readily available and thoughtful explanations of it are also readily available, the only real question for the modern Christian is how long we will spend each day in God’s Word. As the psalmist writes, “Those who love [God’s] Law have great peace, / And nothing causes them to stumble” (Ps 119:165).

Choosing a Bible translation can be a nuanced choice. Many exist, and they each approach the job of translating the original Hebrew and Greek texts in a different way. For those who do not already have a preference, the New Living Translation (NLT) is a relatively newer translation combining biblical scholarship with an easy to understand and contemporary writing style. It is a popular translation for daily reading. The Life Application Study Bible is another good resource. While it is not free, this is a worthwhile investment providing extensive notes and commentary for every book in the Bible. The important thing is to pick a Bible and start reading it regularly. Start with the Gospel of Mark, continue with the Gospel of John, and then read Romans or Hebrews. After that, look for a Bible reading plan—again, many are freely available online. Do not get discouraged at the amount of reading it takes to get through the entire Bible. All it takes is a little effort every day.

Paul once advised the Corinthian church to forgive a penitent member of its congregation so that Satan would not outwit them since they were “not ignorant of his schemes” (2 Cor 2:11 NASB). We might marvel that Paul knew what Satan was planning for the Corinthian church, but it was not due to some extraordinary revelation. Paul knew how Satan operates because Paul knew God’s Word. Since the Lord says we must forgive those who sin against us (Matt 6:12; Luke 11:4), Satan would have encouraged the Corinthian church to withhold forgiveness. That was his scheme. Satan is an expert at suggesting we do the opposite of what God says and then making disobedience seem attractive.

Likewise, Satan is a big believer in the idea that Christians should remain ignorant of Scripture. How do we know that? Because learning what Scripture teaches brings Christians closer to God, making it more difficult for Satan to ensnare us in the sins and bankrupt spiritual philosophies permeating our world. We must read the Bible and understand the Bible in order to guard ourselves against these schemes.

Some Scripture Is Difficult to Interpret​

Understanding what the Bible teaches is not always easy, and this is no less true for us today than it was for Jewish teachers during the first century. For example, the Sadducees were mistaken about the meaning of Scripture (Mark 12:24), so Jesus spent time clarifying for them that the dead will, in fact, rise and God is “not the God of the dead, but of the living” (Mark 12:27 NASB). Other teachers taught that the Messiah would be a man—which He was—and the distant relative of King David—which He also was—without grasping the Messiah’s divine nature. They thought He would come as a conquering hero, perhaps to free them from Roman oppression, although it would have been easy to get confused (cf. Mark 8:27–38). After all, Isaiah writes that a man from the house of David would rule, seek justice, and pursue the cause of righteousness (Isa 16:5). It would have been easy to jump to the wrong conclusion from a prophecy like this. Then there was the time when Jesus said to Peter, in reference to John, “If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you?” (John 21:22 NASB). The believers of that day interpreted Jesus to mean that John would never die (John 21:23). This, however, was an incorrect interpretation of Jesus’s words as John himself noted (John 21:23). Jesus’s question to Peter was rhetorical, not prophetic.

It can be easy to become mistaken when reading Scripture. We often need the entire Bible as context to properly understand it. Verses that seem unclear at first glance are often clarified elsewhere in Scripture, giving new meaning to the original text. Yet even then there are more than a few instances where several reasonable interpretations exist for a given verse. Highly educated Christians have wrestled with this over the millennia—and this is a noble pursuit—but we should also accept that mystery is part of the Christian experience. There are times when we must live with what we cannot know for sure while remaining obedient to what we do know (Deut 29:29). Some secrets belong to God alone. Unfortunately, time and again, differences of interpretation lead to an “us versus them” attitude that divides Christians and churches from one another. This is not what Jesus desires from us (John 17:20–21).

Most of the Bible does have a generally accepted interpretation with different practical applications for righteous living. Understanding it only takes a little work and the right amount of context. This is important to bear in mind. However, the reality is that sometimes we do not know for certain what the original author intended with a difficult verse and must rely on a highly educated guess. Mercifully, what God requires from us to live a righteous life and accept His saving grace is abundantly clear. A difference of interpretation does not always mean someone else is wrong or even qualifies as a false teacher—although that can certainly be the case—it just means some verses are trickier than others. The Book of Revelation with its rich symbolism is a great example of this concept. Genesis 6:1–4 is another prominent example. It is good to study Scripture with a variety of commentaries because these often help illuminate God’s Word in ways that we may have never considered. While we might not always agree with a particular theologian, reading the work of different people who are all passionate about the Word of God can help us grow in our Christian faith.

Scripture Is Not Always Literal​

Generally speaking, when we understand a passage in Scripture differently than its original audience, we and not they are wrong. There are different ways we can go astray. One practice that has led many people into error is picking a specific verse, reading it word for word as rendered in a particular Bible translation, and then ignoring the context around it. This inevitably leads to misinterpretation because not only is context important, the Bible is not always meant to be taken literally. Scripture even proves this point.

Jesus discussed “living water” (John 4:10 NASB) with a Samaritan woman before later telling His disciples that He had “food to eat that you do not know about” (John 4:32 NASB). He was speaking metaphorically. Jesus was not offering kombucha to the woman, nor was He hiding preserved fish in the folds of his cloak. However, this did not stop the woman from thinking Jesus was talking about well water (John 4:11) nor the disciples from thinking Jesus had already taken care of lunch that day (John 4:33). A literal interpretation of His words introduced confusion rather than clarity into what Jesus was actually teaching (John 4:21–26, 34–37).

At another time, Jesus tells His disciples to be on guard against “the leaven [i.e., fermented dough] of the Pharisees and Sadducees” (Matt 16:6 NASB). Based on a literal interpretation of His words, the disciples thought He was talking about bread (Matt 16:7). They were concerned Jesus had said this because they did not bring any bread with them, but again, Jesus was not really talking about bread. He was only using it as a metaphor to warn against faulty teaching (Matt 16:12). Jesus then scolds His disciples for being so literal that they missed His point (Matt 16:8–11).

Jesus also teaches during the Sermon on the Mount that “if your right eye is causing you to sin, tear it out and throw it away from you” (Matt 5:29 NASB). How many people in the audience took Him at face value and gouged out their own eye? No one! They knew it was a hyperbole Jesus used to illustrate an important point about the seriousness of sin. He was not literally telling the crowd to blind themselves. Jesus came to give sight to the spiritually blind (Matt 23:13–37), and on occasion, He also gave sight to the physically blind (Matt 9:27–29). He was not advocating self-mutilation.

Good intentions give way to doctrinal errors when we read the Bible and then take it literally where it was never meant to be literal (cf. 1 Tim 1:3–7). That was even the nature of one of the temptations Satan leveled at Jesus during His trials in the wilderness (Matt 4:5–7; Luke 4:9–12). Interpretative errors can easily lead people away from Christ and into bondage, so we must always strive to respect the Word of God and use it correctly as it was intended within the proper context (1 Tim 1:8). Reading biblical commentaries or the notes in a study Bible alongside Scripture are a simple way to avoid such errors.

Choosing Friends Wisely​

Godly and nice are different concepts. Solomon advises us, “Drive out the scoffer, and strife will leave, / Even quarreling and dishonor will cease” (Prov 22:10 NASB). A nice person may put up with mocking, fighting, quarreling, and insults to spare a disrespectful person the discomfort of a confrontation. A godly person might confront the scoffer both to signal inappropriate behavior and preserve the harmony of those who suffer from that person’s bad influence. There is an important distinction here. Sometimes we must speak or act forcefully instead of avoiding a difficult situation, particularly when it means the difference between obedience or disobedience to God. Nehemiah exemplifies this concept.

When he saw a man who was an enemy of Jerusalem and who had no right to live in the Jewish temple but was living in it anyway, Nehemiah “threw all of [his] household articles out of the room” (Neh 13:8 NASB) because it violated the sanctity of the temple. When Nehemiah saw that the Jerusalem leaders had not provided for the Levites who helped run the temple services, he “reprimanded the officials and said, ‘Why has the house of God been neglected?’” (Neh 13:11 NASB). Later, Nehemiah commanded that the gates of Jerusalem be shut on the Sabbath and threatened to arrest any merchant who camped outside the walls wanting to sell their goods (Neh 13:19–21). He also confronted another group of men who had violated God’s commandments, forcing them to take an oath that they would stop their rebellious behavior (Neh 13:23–25). Nehemiah enforced the rules God gave the Israelites, and while his enforcement actions were not always nice, they were godly. These concepts do not have to be in opposition, but when they do conflict, godly obedience is what we must choose.

This is especially true when it comes to choosing the friends and advisors we allow into our inner circle. Nearly everyone has had a close friend and confidante at some point, sometimes more than one. But what happens when one of the people closest to us—and therefore most influential in our lives—deliberately pursues a lifestyle or participates in actions that we know violate God’s commandments? A nice person may simply overlook this and continue as if nothing was wrong; a godly person might sever the friendship. This is a situation familiar to many of us. Here, nice and godly represent the difference between rebellion and obedience. This is why Paul felt compelled to advise the Corinthian church to remove from its congregation a man who was deliberately and willfully engaged in egregiously sinful behavior (1 Cor 5). This local church was very proud it could tolerate this man’s sin in the name of fellowship (1 Cor 5:1–2, 6) when, in fact, the Corinthians failed to realize that tolerated sin spreads like yeast throughout a lump of dough, contaminating the entire batch (1 Cor 5:6–8).

There is a God-given, objective moral standard that Christians must follow. Close friends who are entirely unconcerned with that standard are an unhealthy influence. Whether that person advocates that we participate in the same sins or not, “[d]o not be deceived: ‘Bad company corrupts good morals’” (1 Cor 15:33 NASB). Unrepentant evil has no place in the Christian life, not even among close friends and valued associates within the church. “Do not be envious of evil people, / Nor desire to be with them; / For their minds plot violence, And their lips talk of trouble” (Prov 24:1–2 NASB). There are many ways we can stumble. Whenever we nurture a close friendship with someone who advocates wicked behaviors (2 Tim 3:2–5), invite an unbeliever to be a close partner (2 Cor 6:14–18), tolerate malfeasance among those we manage (Prov 20:26; 25:4–5), or turn a blind eye to willful sin in our church (Matt 18:17), we are making deliberate choices that invite ruin into our lives. That is not to say we should avoid all contact with immoral people (1 Cor 5:9–10). Christians remain part of this world and are responsible for sharing the gospel message. However, we must be extremely cautious who we invite to share our innermost lives; for “what do righteousness and lawlessness share together, or what does light have in common with darkness? Or what harmony does Christ have with Belial [i.e., Satan], or what does a believer share with an unbeliever?” (2 Cor 6:14–15 NASB).

It can be painful to sever a relationship with a close friend. Nevertheless, when this becomes the wisest course of action, we must do so and leave it up to God to work on that person. There was a time when Paul (who was known as Saul) zealously persecuted Christians, “ravaging the church, entering house after house; and he would drag away men and women and put them in prison” (Acts 8:3 NASB). It would have been unwise for any Christian to befriend him during this period in his life (Acts 9:13–14). Saul would have forced that person to compromise on his or her Christian beliefs and would have refused to hear any truly righteous advice. His influence would have been incredibly detrimental to any closet Christian who chose to become his friend. But God was not finished with Saul. Despite everything this man had done, God said that Saul would become “a chosen instrument of Mine, to bear My name before the Gentiles and kings and the sons of Israel” (Acts 9:15 NASB).

We never know who will be saved in the end (Matt 13:24–30, 36–43), and while we must be obedient to the Lord should He call us to take part in the life of a person with a bad reputation, we must also take great care to keep ourselves from becoming polluted by the world (Jas 1:27). Christians cannot be the light in the darkness that God calls us to be when we are so morally compromised that the unbelievers living around us are indistinguishable from ourselves. The Lord did not overlook it when the Israelites gave Him a poor reputation among their neighboring nations. Why should He overlook it whenever Christians do the same? Jesus will return one day, and as He rhetorically asked His disciples, how many people will He find who still have true faith in Him (Luke 18:8)? The company we keep can have a significant impact on our faith. Maintaining a friendship that causes us to compromise on our Christian beliefs is hazardous to our spiritual health.

Living Righteously​

Psalm 101 is a great model for living the Christian life. We praise the Lord while pursuing a life of integrity. We refuse to look at anything vile and reject the ways of those who live in rebellion against God. We stay away from perversity, refrain from slandering our neighbors, and look for faithful companions who are also pursuing a life of integrity. In short, we “conduct [ourselves] in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ… striving together for the faith of the gospel” (Phil 1:27 NASB) as befits those whose true citizenship is in heaven (Phil 3:20; Heb 11:13). This is the ideal approach to life all Christians should strive to follow. Sometimes, however, it can be difficult to know how to apply the ideal of righteous living to a real situation.

Adam and Eve should have run away from the serpent—that would have preserved their innocence (2 Tim 2:22; 1 Cor 10:13)—but when Satan pointed out a luscious piece of fruit that looked too good to pass up despite the Lord’s prohibition (Gen 3:1–6), they were not thinking much beyond “the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise” (Gen 3:6 NASB).

Or when someone chooses to worship God but also participates in any of the multitude of alternative religions and spiritual philosophies found in this world, that person is probably unaware that religion is not like dual citizenship. We can never worship God while also participating in any other religion (1 Cor 10:21).

Our own thoughts are also subject to scrutiny (2 Cor 10:5). Even looking lustfully at a complete stranger causes us to be guilty of sin (Matt 5:28). “Remember, what you focus your mind on has lasting ramifications. This is because a thought reaps an action, an action reaps a habit, a habit reaps your character and your character reaps your destiny. Therefore, we must reject anything that does not honor Christ in our thinking (Php 4:8–9; Col 3:2).”13

So how do we get to the point where we are more confident that our thoughts, words, and actions properly reflect the moral standards God expects His children to uphold? It begins with understanding Scripture—and we must first study it to understand it. That is our weapon against the schemes of the kingdom of darkness (Eph 6:17) because we can only know error after we first know the truth of God’s holy Word. Upon that firm foundation, it becomes possible to evaluate popular cultural beliefs against Scripture, and finally, to develop a framework for navigating moral ambiguity.

Moral Relativism Is Not a Christian Philosophy​

Not every common opinion is in line with biblical thinking, which is why Paul warns, “do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Rom 12:2 NASB). Our goal should be to think the way God thinks, not adopt the behaviors we see in the secular culture around us. One popular, modern refrain is the need for absolute tolerance of every conceivable human behavior. As the thinking goes, who are we to judge someone else for what they choose to do? Underlying that viewpoint is the notion that nobody is ever truly right or wrong.

This way of thinking is inherently moral relativism, the idea that moral and ethical truths are unique to every individual and culture.14 One key difference between moral relativism and Christianity is that Christians do not believe in relative morality—we believe in objective morality as revealed in Scripture. It is true that “those who are outside [the church], God judges” (1 Cor 5:13 NASB); therefore, “what business of [ours] is it to judge outsiders?” (1 Cor 5:12 NASB). And we can further say that we must still associate from time to time “with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the greedy and swindlers, or with idolaters” because we “would have to leave the world” if we refused to do so (1 Cor 5:10 NASB). But it is not true that tolerance of all behaviors is compatible with Christianity.

Tolerance of what the Bible defines as sin opposes the way God thinks about life and is therefore incompatible with Christian beliefs. The Corinthian church celebrated its tolerance of incest (1 Cor 5:1–2), but neither their boasting about it nor their acceptance of this activity was any good (1 Cor 5:6). Paul argued that tolerance of sin is itself sinful and should be dealt with inside the church so as not to defile it or confuse believers (1 Cor 5:6–8, 12–13). When we seamlessly blend into the world, we are accepting Satan’s viewpoint instead of God’s.

Subjective morality is a sliding scale. Morality within this worldview becomes equated with feelings because there is no objective truth upon which to base concepts of justice and fairness. Feelings are by nature fleeting and inconsistent. Using feelings as the primary guidepost for human behavior will never be more than a brittle measure of what is and is not acceptable. Choices made on feelings alone cannot be rational or consistent because there is no stable foundation underneath them. Humanity will always end up doing evil when we do not intentionally set our hearts on seeking the Lord (2 Chr 12:14). The objective truth is that some actions are evil just as other actions are righteous. Christians can and should be appalled at wickedness (Ps 119:53; Ezra 9:3–4).

Moral relativism naturally ends in existential nihilism, a belief that all traditional values, morals, ideas, and philosophies are worthless. Life becomes meaningless, so “[l]et’s eat and drink, for tomorrow we may die” (Isa 22:13 NASB). Life really does have no purpose or value if the best it can offer is fleeting pleasure. Those who do not have a saving relationship with the Lord live daily in this reality. Life is existentially meaningless without God because on a long enough timescale, nothing we do has any lasting impact or positive significance. But again, that is not the way God looks at life, and there is more to existence than the here and now. “If we have hoped in Christ only in this life, we are of all people most to be pitied. But the fact is, Christ has been raised from the dead, the first fruits of those who are asleep” (1 Cor 15:19–20 NASB).

Nihilism is just one more satanic scheme that incapacitates anyone who holds onto this view. What better way to encourage depression, prevent positive change, and stop saving faith than to argue that life is inherently meaningless? Christians may feel discontent with the state of the world, but that is because we are “strangers and exiles on the earth” (Heb 11:13 NASB). We can look forward to the day when Jesus sets right everything that has gone wrong—and this will happen sooner or later—but until that day comes, our job is to be obedient to God, witness where we are, raise godly children, take care of the poor, and encourage each other in our faith. We can take comfort knowing the work we do for the Lord is never useless (1 Cor 15:58).

How to Navigate Moral Ambiguity​

Actions that are detestable to God are not always clearly labeled for us. Paul writes, “To the pure, all things are pure; but to those who are defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure, but both their mind and their conscience are defiled” (Titus 1:15 NASB). He may have had in mind the erroneous argument that Christians must follow Jewish dietary restrictions (cf. Matt 15:11; Rom 14:20), but there is also a broader point here: what we choose to put in our mind has a direct impact on our thoughts, words, and actions. “If the mind is defiled, it cannot accurately inform the conscience, so conscience cannot warn the person. When conscience is accurately and fully infused with God’s truth, it functions as the warning system God designed.”15 Some things in this world are clearly prohibited for Christians, such as illicit drugs or prostitution (1 Cor 6:12–20). Other things, however, are less clear. How can we know what to avoid when the right choice is ambiguous?

Scripture was not written as a rule book. As a consequence, there is not a commandment for every action we might take or thought we might think. The entire Bible would look like Leviticus if that were true. So while Scripture is and should be an authoritative voice in the life of every Christian, applying Scripture appropriately is often an exercise in careful discernment. For some moral choices, Christians will occasionally differ in their opinions (Rom 14). That does not necessarily make one person right and another person wrong. Paul addresses this situation, providing extensive commentary about matters of conscience. Some believers in the Roman church were convinced that eating certain foods violates Christian beliefs; others were convinced that food itself does not pose a problem for believers. So who was right? What was the correct choice? Both of these were correct choices.

Paul writes, “The one who eats is not to regard with contempt the one who does not eat, and the one who does not eat is not to judge the one who eats, for God has accepted him. Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand” (Rom 14:3–4 NASB). We are each accountable to the Lord, and we are each guilty of a particular sin if the Lord says so. However, when there is no clear biblical prohibition against a certain action, no Christian has the moral authority to condemn someone else who decides differently. One day, “each one of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let’s not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this: not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother’s or sister’s way” (Rom 14:12–13 NASB). We are to live in such a way that we do not cause anyone else to falter in their faith.

If someone believes that a particular choice is morally wrong, then for that person it is morally wrong because it violates that person’s conscience (Rom 14:14). To do it anyway is a sin (Rom 14:23). The one who decides differently and participates in this choice in plain view of the one who has an issue with it is not acting in love (Rom 14:15). That is also a sin. There are ambiguous moral choices where we might believe our participation is acceptable to God—and that can be fine if we are fully convinced of this and Scripture does not teach otherwise—but we must keep that choice between ourselves and God rather than parading it in front of someone else who has decided differently (Rom 14:20–23). Doing this damages the work of God and may harm the faith of another believer, which are not outcomes that any Christian should desire (Rom 14:20). Love, righteousness, and mutual encouragement are the underlying principles here. “For the one who serves Christ in this way is acceptable to God and approved by other people. So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another” (Rom 14:18–19 NASB).

A Framework for Making an Unclear Moral Choice​

When deciding whether a particular choice is good or bad for a Christian believer, prayerfully consider the following questions:

  1. What does Scripture explicitly say or strongly imply (2 Tim 3:16)?
  2. What does the Holy Spirit indicate (John 16:13)?
  3. Are you fully convinced this is an acceptable choice to God (Rom 14:14, 22–23)?
  4. Will your participation damage the faith of another believer (Rom 14:15, 21; 1 Cor 10:23–33)?
  5. What does this choice glorify (e.g., love or violence, peace or quarreling, self-control or lust) (1 Cor 10:31)?
  6. Are the ideas, images, or speech that will stick in your mind after participating in this choice honorable, pure, lovely, or praiseworthy (Phil 4:8–9)?
  7. What would mature Christian believers or scientific studies advise (Prov 11:14; 12:15; 19:20)?

This will become second nature over time, and as it does, patterns will begin to emerge that make subsequent choices easier. Additionally, pray that the Holy Spirit would indicate in no uncertain terms whether an unclear choice will honor or dishonor God. God wants us to be obedient to Him, and it pleases Him for us to want that too. Therefore, this is an example of praying according to God’s will (1 John 5:14–15), and He will answer that prayer. There is no need to grow anxious over every decision we make. When we earnestly want to please the Lord and look to Him for guidance in our lives, He will never let us go astray. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart / And do not lean on your own understanding. / In all your ways acknowledge Him, / And He will make your paths straight” (Prov 3:5–6 NASB).

  1. John MacArthur, The MacArthur Bible Commentary (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2005), 1968.↩
  2. Charles F. Stanley, ed., The Charles F. Stanley Life Principles Bible: New International Version (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2017), 288.↩
  3. Stanley, The Charles F. Stanley Life Principles Bible, 666, 667.↩
  4. Stanley, The Charles F. Stanley Life Principles Bible, 1541.↩
  5. Wayne A. Grudem, Systematic Theology: An Introduction to Biblical Doctrine (Leicester; Grand Rapids: Inter-Varsity Press; Zondervan, 1994), 390.↩
  6. Stanley, The Charles F. Stanley Life Principles Bible, 660.↩
  7. Grudem, Systematic Theology, 390–91.↩
  8. Stanley, The Charles F. Stanley Life Principles Bible, 660.↩
  9. Chantal E. H. Dirix et al., “Aspects of Fetal Learning and Memory,” Child Development 80.4 (2009): 1258, https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-8624.2009.01329.x.↩
  10. Chai M. Tyng et al., “The Influences of Emotion on Learning and Memory,” Front Psychol 8 (2017): 7, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5573739/.↩
  11. Ronald A. Beers et al., eds., Life Application Study Bible: New International Version (Wheaton, IL; Grand Rapids: Tyndale House; Zondervan, 1997), 2162.↩
  12. Look at the bibliography of this book for a few ideas of where to find online reading materials to supplement a study of Scripture.↩
  13. Stanley, The Charles F. Stanley Life Principles Bible, 1642.↩
  14. See Chapter 3 to learn more about cultural trends shaping the United States.↩
  15. MacArthur, The MacArthur Bible Commentary, 1822.↩